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Hm. [Apr. 12th, 2006|10:36 pm]
[Current Mood |listlesslistless]
[Current Music |No]

I've attempted to put together a post here a few times over the last month, but each time I try and get started I find I just don't have the drive to actually type anything. Really, the last month has been a veritable whirlwind in many different ways; and as this week is the first time that things have slowed down a little bit (relatively), I've found that I can take a step back and look at things a little bit more thoroughly and clearly.

My new busyness is pretty much completely due to my new job. I like my job. It's a job that I've wanted for a long time, and I'm happy that I've been given the opportunity to have it. But I'm finding that, at this point six weeks into things, it's more taxing on every level than I thought it would be- both physically and mentally. There's tremendous pressure to perform well, much of which I put on myself I'm sure. And there has been some tension with the one person I had anticipated there would be tension with, despite how much I had hoped there wouldn't be. That, as much as anything else, is exhausting. I've so been trying to please and impress everyone that I think I've neglected to think about who I'm really doing the work for. That's something I need to change before I get into too much of a routine.

I've had a headache the whole freaking day. I was un-officially, informally dressed down at work today. I've got a friend in the hospital with some kind of bacterial infection. I've got another friend moving back here from across the country who seems to be banking on having me as a roommate, but I think I may have become too used to living alone over the last couple of years to be interested in that (and I've said as much). A girl that I like- who's really awesome- was on the verge of becoming full-on girlfriend, and I've let our relationship kind of grind to a halt. I'm sad that I can't have a pet where I live. And I'm frusturated that I'm letting my confidence waver this week, despite being so blessed in every aspect of my life.

I don't think I've lost sight of what's important, but my vision has sure blurred!

Today I watched the 10th inning of the 1986 World Series between the Mets and the Red Sox... re-enacted using RBI Baseball for the NES. It's one of the coolest things I've seen in quite awhile. And it's pretty funny, too (especially when it cuts to the genuine 20-year-old NBC footage of the "Miller Lite Player of the Game"). http://news.com.com/2061-10797_3-6060689.html
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Yawn! [Mar. 8th, 2006|10:33 pm]
[Current Mood |contentcontent]
[Current Music |The Spinners - Rubberband Man]

I'm tired. But it's a good kind of tired- the kind of tired you get because you've been doing stuff you like. Sort of a rewarding kind of tired, I suppose. Like, even though I'm tired, I'm still looking forward to getting up in the morning. It's really a great feeling.

I find myself posting here mostly because I feel obligated to. Actually, I don't know that "obligated" is the right word; but I think I don't usually feel strongly enough about anything to bother writing about it. And I end up writing here merely because I have the account. And, as a result, I end up writing stuff like this!

Edit: Yikes, stream-of-consciousness...
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Oh my God. [Feb. 21st, 2006|02:45 pm]
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]
[Current Music |Spearhead - Oh My God]

So I finished the previous entry's job interview late on Saturday afternoon. And I've since come to the realization, perhaps because I really want the job, that the tension from waiting to hear whether or not I've got the job is far worse than the pre-interview jitters I stumbled through last week. For serious. I don't know what to do with myself. I've hardly left the house since then. I haven't shaved since then. And it seems like I'm eating a lot- although I think it just feels that way because I'm doing so little in general right now. I would do almost anything to get my mind off of this job, but I can't motivate myself to actually do it. It's really wierd.

And I'm tired of my hands being so friggin' cold! But I can only do so much complaining at one time. :P
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Can't... concentrate... or speak... at normal... rate. [Feb. 16th, 2006|02:48 pm]
[Current Mood |stressedstressed]
[Current Music |Loverboy - Working for the Weekend]


Apparently my vocabulary is so limited that I'm forced to make up new words to convey my unease. Tomorrow morning I've got the biggest job interview of my life, and it's for a job I've wanted for several years. And I'm finding it difficult to focus on much of anything. Periods of tremendous confidence alternate with periods of brutal insecurity, and I'm beginning to suspect that this might be some taste of what it's like to suffer from bi-polar disorder (or some other fill-in-the-blank condition you'll find in a DSM-IVR)! And even though I know that whatever is supposed to happen will happen, I find that thought doesn't seem to be stopping me from obsessing over this two-day interview. Part of me believes that I'm an absoloute shoe-in for the position, and I'm practically measuring for new drapes in my head; and then the other, perhaps more rational part of me is desparately trying to restrain myself so I don't get my hopes up in the event that they decide one of the other candidates is a better fit. So I've pretty much just been sitting around stewing all day.

I did, however, muster up the stregnth to do the dishes that were in the sink. So I suppose that's something.

Oh, man- I just remembered I need to iron a shirt before tomorrow morning! See?! I can't even focus on the most basic things! :D
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He's dead, Jim. [Feb. 10th, 2006|10:26 pm]
[Current Mood |fullfull]
[Current Music |LTJ Bukem - Inner Guidance]

Your results:
You are An Expendable Character (Redshirt)
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)
Geordi LaForge
Will Riker
Mr. Scott
Jean-Luc Picard
Deanna Troi
James T. Kirk (Captain)
Beverly Crusher
Leonard McCoy (Bones)
Mr. Sulu
Since your accomplishments are seldom noticed,
and you are rarely thought of, you are expendable.
That doesn't mean your job isn't important but if you
were in Star Trek you would be killed off in the first
episode you appeared in.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz

All in all, I'd say I somehow managed to end up with the funniest quiz result. :P
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Here comes the sun! [Feb. 9th, 2006|10:35 pm]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]
[Current Music |The Clash - Rock the Casbah]

It feels like I haven't seen the sun since the middle of December, and that's not an exaggeration. But today was sunny and clear- not a cloud in the sky- and it's supposed to be the same tomorrow! And even though it's only 50 degrees, it's awesome.

On another note, I think I've put on about 5 pounds in the last week or two. Well, I have according to my scale anyway... I don't think I notice it (it's not that much, after all). This is a little wierd for 2 reasons: first, it wasn't on purpose, and second, it's the first time I've gained any weight since I was actively gaining. I've got mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I don't care- I figure if I end up fat I end up fat, and there's no reason not to enjoy it (especially since there are more than a few reasons I'd consider doing it on purpose again). But on the other hand, I don't think I really want to gain any weight right now, which is why I stopped gaining in the first place and slimmed back down a couple of years ago. Of course, it could just be that I have a crummy cheap scale, and I'm being all wierd about it for nothing! :D

I was going to write about something else, but I think I forgot what it was. If that doesn't make for interesting reading, I don't know what does.
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Hey... [Jan. 24th, 2006|07:43 pm]
[Current Mood |busybusy]
[Current Music |Ba-da-dat-dut-daa... I'm lovin' it.]

I have a pet! Kinda.

my pet!

There's so much else I should be doing right now. Constructive stuff. Oh well... so much for that! :P
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Holy crap. [Jan. 23rd, 2006|11:11 pm]
[Current Mood |happyhappy]
[Current Music |Chef - Chocolate Salty Balls]

I didn't believe- couldn't believe- that the Seahawks were really gonna play in the Super Bowl until I saw all the confetti on the field. It's awesome.

I was going to write about something else, but I've been sitting here for a couple minutes and can't for the life of me remember what it was. Hmm... shoot. Oh well.
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Man, I wish I had some donuts. [Jan. 18th, 2006|08:04 pm]
[Current Mood |soresore]
[Current Music |Spin Doctors - Two Princes]

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

I'm really considering going to get some donuts after this quiz. But I might be too cheap and/or lazy.
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Buildin' an ark. [Jan. 16th, 2006|10:57 pm]
[Current Mood |okayokay]
[Current Music |Nope.]

It rained here for 27 days in a row. Then yesterday, it didn't rain. But today is really making up for yesterday... it's just pouring, and it doesn't look like it's gonna stop any time soon! I wish that it had rained yesterday, because there would have been a chance to surpass the city's "consecutive days of rain" record (33) that was set in 1953. At least we would have had something to show for being damp for a month! But noooo... now, it's just more flooding and landslides. And I really need to wash my car, but I don't want to do it if it's just gonna keep raining.

I'm starting to think I'm getting tired of all the rain, and that I might be ready to skip spring and jump right into summer. Maybe I should buy a Hawaiian shirt and crank up the thermostat.

Edit: Wow, I really said "rain" a lot. Rain!
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